Going My Way

Today, I am the man. Regardless of how you may feel about the whole statement as it relates to me, I want you to get the tone. Today, I woke up at 7:30 AM which, needless to say is a big deal. I did not roll out of bed. I did not yawn. I simply sat up and started my day. I turned on my computer and put it on random and the next 7 or 8 songs were perfect for that moment. I went in the shower, and I had exactly one clean towel to use and it was the newest one.  I had exactly enough shampoo, exactly one rag to scrub up with. I only had one outfit that was clean, and it matched.

I could keep going but the pattern continues through out the day. My point being, is that all day I have been one step away from it being an awful day but instead it has turned out to be the best days. I believe that is the lesson. Our day can always be bad. A terrible mood is just one situation away. I could worry, I could even stock up on everything so that I never run out. Or, I could live. Today was a day of faith, and it was in turn a blessing.

Weddings

2010 and 2011 will be the time of weddings. I went to the first one yesterday and it was quite eye opening. This wedding was over the top in every conceivable way. It was at the Fox Theatre and it was really mind blowing how nice everything was. However, there was the groom and the bride about to make a promise for the rest of their life. Its a promise they will keep until the last breath leaves their body.

We act

Sometimes we are faced with our enemies, our fears and we act. We act because in our dreams, and through our lives we have rehearsed for that exact moment. Our execution is near flawless. We move and act with such precision and we act without second guessing. In many ways, other people wonder why we fear those things at all. Where we break down is when we run out of enemies, we overcome our fears and the only thing we have left to face is ourself. We don’t want it to be us. When it comes down to that, there is no plan. We dont execute with any kind of precision. We second guess constantly and people wonder at this point why there is any fear left at all. So when they ask, we act. We act.

The Three I’s

Ok disclaimer: I am not a widely successful person. I am not trying to make millions off this information because I can not guarantee its fool proof. But I can say that following this has helped me to be successful in several areas. OK, on with the post.

When I was young(er), I always was baffled at how my dad did business. I am sure my dad has had his failures but as long as I have known him he has an uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time. He just so happens to always be the right person for the job. I could just attribute my dad to being really good at something but how is he so good at so many things? After years of living with him and many Go To Work With Dad Days and watching him start several businesses I have come across a pattern. My dad never started from nothing. He took what was considered an acceptable idea and made it something better. You may be asking, how then has this benefited me? Well, I applied it to dating. Strange as that may sound, it has given me a certain level of success. I have heard several guys ask, “How am I supposed to beat out every other guy in the world?” Most women I have dated have had one thing in common- they were all dating someone else when I met them. Most people tend to get discouraged by this but I see it as quite the opportunity. If the woman were single, then yes, my battle would be against every other guy this girl knows or could know. However, when she is dating someone, I simply have to be better than that guy. Women might find this wrong or even manipulative, but I can say its resulted in some pretty incredible relationships. That is why the first I to being successful is Improve. Learn from your friends or enemies, if you have those, and be better. We do not have to conquer the entire world, or boil the ocean. The key to my dad’s success is he is a “next step” kind of guy. He is really good at taking an idea and taking it to the next step. He is an Improver.

I need sleep

At some point, we have to stop. We have to stop and just be happy. Not happy for the future, or happy of where we have been. We have to be happy of exactly where we are. I find this to be especially important when nothing seems to make sense. Today, I woke up and thought I had things completely figured out and at the last minute, I had a curve ball. Now nothing lines up. Nothing. And I stressed and stressed about it, and this is coming from someone who doesnt stress. I thought and thought and analyzed and analyzed and finally, I just gave up. It bothered me that I could not “fix” something. I just need to take the chance that maybe just maybe, the situation is perfect the way it is.

The Unsettling Usefulness of Dating Protocol

Ok, so now I am on a roll so I will keep going. I understand the purpose of manners and properness and such but I feel it gets in the way of things.  I feel a prime example is this process of dating. If I had it my way, the best way to tell a girl you had feelings for her would simply to be, lets say, just tell her. But you cannot do that. There is a process. There are mannerisms that must be followed. But why? What are we avoiding? I know this doesnt make sense to anyone, but I am trying to be vague because the people that read this are what spurred this whole thought process. Not pertaining to me personally, but more so a friend. Here is what is about to happen. He’s never had a girlfriend. Hes not going to follow the “protocol” of dating. Girl will be caught off guard so she will consult her friends. Friends will reference his lack of adherence to the protocol. Girl agrees. In the end, they could have been perfect. Who knows. They certainly wont. The only thing that the guy got out of it is that if he substitutes a few authentic things he did for this mainstream protocol, his chances of ending up with a woman go up significantly. What he will then discover is the girl is doing the same thing to him. Which is why for some reason after people start dating, the first thing they do is get to know each other. It may sound backwards, but as my friend put it, hey, it works. The fact that hes right- kills me.

To make up for not updating for a while

I am really pretty shocked my password still works on this blog/journal thingy. I remembered that some people use this as their best means of stalking me, which I suppose I should happily feed. So, I saw the movie “The Box”. 1) This will not be a review of the movie because 2) it was terrible. But for a split second, it asked a very relevant question. What does it mean to know someone? The movie promptly abandoned that and went into some spacey science fiction mumbo jumbo but I will choose to not follow that path. I guess we should step back for a second and ask if it is even important to know a person before we can decide if its possible. Those quick to sort the world in black and white will simply accept that you know people because you have your example- your mom or your dad or your boyfriend or such. You say, you know them. How do they surprise you then? How can you explain those moments where one of those people does something that seems completely out of character?

What I like to do here in the journal, is explain the answers to my questions. But, I am afraid I cannot. I have forever believed that a person can not be defined by their actions. Actions are a result of who a person is but they do not stand on their own. In the last two weeks, three different occasions I have completely misread three different people. Two of which, I have sat there asking myself “who are you?”

On a completely separate note, I see a pattern in my life as to how I stumble upon people that are important to me. First, I surround myself with as many people as I can. Then I realize that I have too many friends to have any sort of meaningful relationship. So I start slimming down. But there is always snag; there is that someone that I try to throw out but I can not quite do it. Everyone else tells me it was the right call. But the more I investigate and think about it, the more I realize that person was the one person I should hang out with more than anyone. In an act of frustration, I end up ditching everyone else for that one person and then the people that gather after that moment turn out to be the best of my friends. I do not know if that made sense or if you could follow, but thats my process. It is not intentional. I usually notice it afterwards.

Hope this makes up for the 605443 years of not updating.

whisper

Who knows if I’ll ever man up,
And say exactly how I feel.
Quite possibly the only thing,
That keeps my life alive
Is you.

There is no use denying,
What is obvious only to me.
You wont catch me cryin
But that doesnt mean a thing

Because when Im angry
I am a screamer
When all goes my way
I am a grinner
But when I am with you
I can do nothing
But whisper

About time

Today, I’ve decided to grow up. My friend got engaged and another graduated within 24 hours. And it’s not like they were sprinting or cheated in anyway. They are just on time. When I told my mom, there was not even a hint of shock. She simply said- it’s about time. It’s weird how she always works out being right. It is about time.

Insecure

I know I havent written in a while. I think its because of how confused I have been. I know I have my flaws, but I have always considered myself to be awesome. I was raised to think that is ok. So it is confusing, and almost angering to see people who are completely mindblowingly fantastic and they do not even have a clue. Even worse, when you tell them, they brush it off as if you were giving them pitty. As anyone will tell you, I dont have any pitty. I barely have remorse. I have some truly awesome friends but some of them just refuse to see themselves as anything beyond average yet they crave to be. I do not know what to do or say about it. I feel like I should be able to do something. I just hate to see people walk through life with envy, when they have something that no one else can compare. I guess what I am asking for is a light, but not for me. I need one that brings light to insecurities.