Behind you, with me

If you could turn around and leave
Would you take the first step with me?
Theres a chance that I will not return,
Will you trust before you can turn?

The truth is that I will always be,
no more than the person inside of me.
In the changing of a torturous tide,
I need you to be by my side

Shadows I promised would not last,
Haunt my heart shackled to my past
Take the chance and trust in me
That in your soul lives the key.

You were never big on romance,
or being anyones own angel.
But you are true and just,
more than a friend, more than lust.
Without leaving the ground
You are my wings.

Should you chose to stay,
Against all that I pray,
Do not shed a tear,
for when I fly away.

a mirror

Today I felt the bottom of your heart
And Ill be damned theres not a sign of me.
I just kept on waiting
But I guess I just could not see.

I left you crying
I let you go
I held your hand
I shed some of my own

But baby just listen
Im not a changed man
I am who I was before
I need you now

Wont you hold my hand,
No one will look at me now.
I am just who I was before
The person I wanted to be
he is no more.

Remember when you believed,
What came from these lips.
Remember when you shivered,
At the touch of my fingertips.

I can see how you could forget what I said,
What I really wanted us to be,
But baby please wont you tell me
how you forgot all about me.

You might as well stay the hell away from me
I will never be the man you want me to be

clinch

I am starting to choke on regret. I am starting to see a beaten path that I will soon be forced to walk. I am starting to see myself become less and less like myself. Sadly I think others are starting to catch on. I think others are starting to understand it more than I am willing to. I am willing to keep my head up, so when it reaches my neck, I can at least breath.

I learned to breath so I could love

I wanted to write today- about three topics.  

I learned to fly when the ground was no longer beneath my feet. I learned to fall when I no longer had wings. I learned to close my eyes when the ground found my face. I learned to hold my breath until the dust settled. I learned to like the taste of blood from my face.But most of all, I learned to crush the ground with my feet. I learned to see home among the clouds. I learned to try. I learned to fly again.

Dont let a single moment take your breath away. For you should be breathing into those who are choking to live. To those that are desperately gasping to fill the lungs of imagination. Save your breaths for those people. For they are the ones that make today better than yesterday, and stuff tommorow with anticipation.

The funny thing is shes more than I wanted in that she is nothing of the sort. She has a way with words where she makes them not necessary. And her eyes.  I think that eyes were never meant to be put to words. Eyes tell stories, give away secrets, doorways to your inner soul. Her eyes. Her smile. Funny I could go on and on about what  Isee, and I guarantee im one of the few. I can see introducing her and people pulling me aside and saying Cully….um she _________. Quite frankly every thing u can put in that blank is adorable.

love

I guess heaven is only great if you believe,
And your destiny is only as real as you can see.
A few more twirls in that white dress,
A fairytale come true for a princess.

Dance to a tune you know I can sing,
Let me hold you, tell me you dont feel a thing.
The stars shine for a different reason tonight,
Your face shines in rays of moon light.

I guess I will just keep on walking,
Hoping one day we will start talking.
I have learned to not hold my head so high
I have learned that not everything is meant to die.

I find it funny how powerful perspective is. How a situation completely changes by where you were when the situation occurs. I mean Einstein based his whole theory of relativity off of perspective. People are written into stereotypes by one person’s perspective. People judge others based off of their own experience when they have no clue how statistically insignificant their experience is.

I guess they tell you to stand tall,
even when you’re going under.
I guess they tell you to face the tide
Just before you know you will break

You taught yourself to never look the same
everytime youre eye catches a piece of me
You hid yourself from the only one who could see
The person draped in an angry attitude.

I dont know why you cry alone at night,
When a million guys would hold you tight
It just makese no sense to me
how you could ever be lonely

I cant ask you to remember dancing in the rain
It was a dream of mine i guess that never came
I could ask you to feel what you felt then,
A feeling I know will never feel the same.

Its just not up to me

Words

words really mean nothing in life. You can say what you want, and even if its not true, you only have your image to lose. Actions, as history has shown, change the world. Words are candy for our minds, a currency only taken by those that choose to care. I choose to not care. I choose to wait to see how people act.

Wings

There are people in this world that go their whole life without finding that special someone. Amazing to me because that companion becomes your wings. I compare it to walking across the country, yea ull get there, but theres something to flying. There is something to having that other person make you feel like you have been lifted off of your feet. This isn’t a fair place to start though. In life we walk into canyons and walk along its edge hoping there is a bridge along the way. Faith. Faith that if you jump, that smile next to you will spread her wings and catch you before you understand fear. Love is the shedding of care to other posibilities. Finding it is the feeling that being with that person outweighs all other situations. It is the feeling that the chance to fly is worth the fall.

lovely it

I am writing this letter because it happened again. It. A word that bears no meaning by itself, but in context is necessary to forget its subject. A subject we decided was gone, dead or for all we cared non existant. But it happend again. No, this time I could not see it as before but I felt it. It tore at me in my sleep. It fed off my dreams. Scary because that was my safe haven. That is how I forgot. My life is built on the foundation it layed for me, and my dreams allowed me to tear it all down. I am writing because I am scared that my dreams are too much like reality. I wake up, or so it seems, and sleep in some order that I could not tell you for the life of me. I am not alone but I am for some reason sprinting to one day seek it. I was hoping you could help me remember what it wore. I must admit I have given it attention despite our agreement not to discuss it. I am not asking for you to get rid of it because honestly it is a voice I have grown to miss..almost as much as yours.