supposed to be

I think in life we are at a constant battle with where we should be. I think this is because the only sense we have is where we shouldn’t be. I have rarely been in a situation where I felt like I was being told- this is where you should be. I have only felt that I was given no feeling that I didnt belong, so I stayed. Maybe not, maybe I am just confused with where I am and it is blinding how I feel. I just feel that I can see where I want to be, the person I want to become, and I can see how to get there, but there is no sprinting. I have spent and heard people talk about trying to slow time down and I can see that and I know thats the right thing to say, but its not what I want. I want to get to the point where I can look all around and say, yea I did good. Its funny when you get a taste of what you want, you cant get enough of it and it feels odd to pace the things that you know are good. Maybe this isnt making any sense to those that read this, but I just have about 300 things on my mind right now and only 200 decisions to make. I have lost about two days sleep over it all and its making me go through extremes. I am either just agitated over everything, or in some sort of false happiness. It is as if my whole life is being piled through a funnel called time.