Tell me!

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Goodbye

When its all over,
And everyone saw it but you
Do you expect me to cover
Even after you said we were through?

You say you’re undiscovered
But everyone always said it was you
You said there’d be no other
But that couldnt have been less true

You keep calling my phone,
saying you want to be alone
And expect that to change the tone

Goodbye Im Through
I pray that one of these roads
Doesnt lead back to you

Some old stuff

So today I have worked on going back through my old journals and seeing where I came from and what I was doing around this time in previous years. In doing so, I came across a poem I wrote. I wrote it back when I was in Illinois, and I remember trying to put it to a song while trudging through the snow. The poem for me was my way of escaping wherever I was. Who its about may remain a mystery, but I feel its well written.

Blind Mirror

She is the girl you may never understand,
A deep scared past and bible in hand.
She dreams nightmares she wont confess,
Shades other than white on her wedding dress.

She can quote every verse in her defense,
In a hope god wont see her finger prints.
Her old friends look with judging eyes.
They only want whats beneath the lies.

She sleeps with her windows open,
Sets her alarm clock when its still broken.
She takes the lead as if shes chosen.
Surrounds her mistakes in a bed of roses.

She wakes up with a half worn smile,
Puts on clothes and a layer of denial
This is her chance to start a new
with hope that the truth doesnt show through

She dances for the world to see,
A pretty dress and a smile for me.
I cant pull you down and stop the show.
But please dont ask me to let go.

She walks with her soul wide open,
Lets her heart out when its still broken
Sits on stage, her mouth is frozen
Waits for her future until it closes

She walks with an angels wings,
Waiting to see what hope brings.
Tread softly when hiding the truth,
I will always be with the real you

Read Original Post

down

Im not down in the dumps,

Its just where you like to be caught.

I am not falling to the ground

With your tears you have made me walk

No  room to  fly,

To live or die.

Just down.

I am not ignoring reality,

You just blind me with the truth

How you can make me perfectly miserable

And perfectly happy too

And to be honest,

I dont know what to do,

I find that the closer i get,

The further I get from you.

Im not trying to walk away,

Im not trying to leave.

But it feels that when I hold you close

You are pushing me away

Im not going to stand and wait,

But I can not leave.

I am trapped in my own life

as if it were my destiny or fate

These words may cut where it hurts,

But I would not know when

Most of the words that I have spoken

 Were everything but heard 

Wouldnt it be better if you could taste it,A feeling so real but impossible to face it,Wont you fight it off with me tonight,Drown its persuasive, misleading light. Because I am who I amnot what you see,Burdened by my weighted pastThat brings me to my knees. Ive had my fill of broken words,Truths buried because we know reality 

I

I am not the one who has given,Up on everything and claims to be livin,I wont be the one crying,When only my dreams seem to be dying. I am a man of few words and big dreams,A man that bets that it is not as it seems,But you throw off my mind,Make me leave my ways behind. 

Ill Hold you until it fits

From the top of your lungs

to the bottom of your soul

Tell me to stay

Just tell me not to go

 

 Where does your heart lay to rest?

Where does it sleep?

Because your love flows from your chest,

to your lips against my cheek

 

 Oh its so much easier to write sad songs,

Its so much easier to lie 

Its so much easier to accept the wrongs

Its easier to give up and cry.

 

Beneath the stars or on a plane,

I hear your voice as if it were to say,

Please tell me you will not go

Tell me you will stay

 

 

Baby blue eyes,

Take away these sad songs

I dont want to lie

I dont want to cry

 

Its where your heart sits,

its where your love fits

Some foreign land

Where entry only requires

you to hold my hand

 

From the bottom of my heart,

Were I press against your cheek,

My life as a simple dream

Where you and I meet

those left behind

So when her knees find the floor,
Confidence slammed with the door,
Begging have mercy and no more,
Wiping the tears as they pour,
From her
Face

Take this as my apology
For catching you  when you fall,
Instead of making you fly
For answering your call
instead of listening to your cry.

So I sit before you a broken man,
begging for mercy,
Begging that someone will understand.
Hoping to hear me,
That from where I sit,
Someone will stand.

So I say Im sorry,
And ask for mercy,
To stand by me,
And cry into me.
For I will always be,
The face you see,
When the world falls,
Oh too easily

I Think You Don’t

I think I enjoy my own pain and lies ,
simply for the thrill of making things right.
I think I dont like to sleep at night,
so when day breaks I have something to fight.

I think I paint my life gray,
So I can see the color in their day.
I think I dont hold back what I say,
So others will want to prey,
for me.

I think that I know myself so well,
locking myself in a lonely cell.
I think I fall even before i had fell.
Just so I would have a story to tell.

I think I run away from home,
So others don’t know I am alone,
I think I avoid talking on the phone,
So people can not read my tone.

I think that you really dont know me,
Because I am nothing like what you see
No I dont think you can handle me,
You wont understand why I get the best of me.

I think I may never change,
I think you may never really know.
You may find me quite strange
I am always trying to leave.
When we both know
theres no where to go.

if need be

I miss the moments it was only me,
The days the future was easy to see,
The days we knew wed never be alone,
Hours lost talking on a telephone.

And I have spent days trying to find another,
when those searched found some other.
For now my life has fallen to pieces.
I need someone who knew the picture before broken.

Friend is a term we threw around,
A few keywords cuz we liked the sound,
Before it was ok if it wasnt the truth,
but now it seems I really do need you

So I am not going to ask you,
Trust me i wont say a word.
But hopefully with these words,
it shouldnt be so hard to see through

I need that friend
that we promised to be
that when times were bad
you would be there for me